Trusted With All Of My Heart Or Wouldn’t Have At All

Have promises ever been made to you? Has anyone sworn to you before? Has anyone given you their word on something? Has anyone asked you to believe them? And keeping all that in mind, have you trusted them? I have. 

Trust” a plain five letter word. But this simple word has so much attached to it. Your heart, your mind, your being – it’s like a web. When this very trust is broken by a friend you thought would never lie to you, you begin to think whether your relationship was real at all. When you’re hurt they say the person could be more important than the pain. Isn’t that why we’re really hurt in the first place? You don’t believe a person partially. You either believe or you don’t.

I stared into this blank page for hours this evening with tears rolling down only to realise that no matter how much you care about a person, it’s rarely returned back to you. Just when you think life is at a sweet stage and you’re with people who will never hurt you, you’re slapped in the face. Everyone at some point has been sold down the river. It’s not very hard to trust people, so why is it so hard to keep a promise or be simply be honest?

Was I Not Good Enough? Maybe.
The reason we call ourselves friends is because we’re comfortable with each other. It is because we can be ourselves with each other. Lying to your best friend is as good as calling the whole relationship a farce, as if it never existed. If you have a dark secret, do you not trust your best friend to understand you? If not them, then who?

Eventually after feeling so hurt all you want to do is quit. Quit on relationships, quit on trusting again, quit maybe even on yourself. But being human is illustrated by the fact that even though you’re trust is broken you can’t stop trusting even if you want to. There’s always another person that may come our way, or it’s probably the same person again. Above all the circumstances I think we give the person more importance.

Right now at this moment, I’m hurt. I’m crying. I wish I never let someone else have so much of control over me. But I did. I don’t regret it because nothing in life should ever be cried over. The truth is, it doesn’t take years to build up trust. It’s an instant feeling. It’s a feeling that comes to surface when you sense comfort. In fact, it takes a while for that to break. Even though we’re hurt we don’t stop trusting. We just wish for a turnaround. The point in question is whether that will happen or not.

A Turnaround To Fix It?
I don’t know whether there will be a turnaround. All I know is that I want one. I can’t just erase a person off my mind, one that I’m so fond of. Suddenly I see that happening. It’s like a broken dream!