A few years from now, I dream of having babies. Maybe, not many but yes I do want to have babies. I would welcome a rough big boy or a gentle little girl – at the end of the day, they will be MY little babies. I will wipe their tears while I hide mine, join in their laughter, share their happiness, soothe their troubles and just grow with my junior creation. It is scary but it seems just as beautiful too. Imagine having something growing inside of you. It seems creepy, hell yeah. But when you think about being connected to another heartbeat and that being a part of you till the end – I feel amazed.
No woman wants to be fat but having a bump with a life in it? I want that. You have this other person being cooked within you, one inside another. It’s exquisite and I want to feel that thrill having been given the gift to do so. I want to enjoy everything I wouldn’t be able to otherwise. You think you lose your charm and beauty during those nine months but I think you have so much more to gain. You can eat to your hearts galore, get moody, cry or yell and still be loved and pampered. You know you’re going to have someone cheer you up every time. And the best part, irrespective of who stays with you, you know your baby is with you and is listening to you.
It is quite an adventure in itself. You’re creating life. The thought it is “huge”. At one moment you’re scared about screwing it up but then when you’re calm and you have a hand that holds yours, it’s an adventure you wouldn’t miss for anything else in the World. When I think of the moment when I’ll be squeezing a blood covered being out of me and I hear it shriek its lungs out I want it to be in my mother’s arms, in the arms of the lady who created me. It isn’t just that moment when I see my baby for the first time. I want to see the look on my mother’s face as she holds her baby’s baby. Maybe then I will really know what it feels like.
Kids, they can embarrass you or make you proud and they have absolutely no clue about why or how they do what they do. Be it their honesty, curiosity, or innocence – you wonder where it all comes from. Sometimes, they’re wiser than you are. And no matter how cute they are, they’re brats – born brats. But despite the mischievous looks they give you, you know with all your heart that they are the best thing that has happened to you. And after a hard day, their one simple smile and glistening eyes will cheer you up. You may have to get back home and clean their poop or struggle putting them to sleep even though you could crash in that given second. But knowing that they long for you and your presence or just to wrap their tiny little palm around your finger, you don’t mind it. And we know for a fact that this doesn’t happen with anyone else!
It is so sad when women believe that their life comes to an end when you choose to have a baby. You can have a life just the way I believe I can and I will. You can have a career and still raise a family. Your child doesn’t want you giving up your dreams for them but for you to make them a part of it. I want to do that just the way my mother did. And after all that happens, I would drive down on a Saturday evening to meet up with my girls and have the same old fun only this time we won’t be discussing fashion but poop instead. I won’t be just a simple girl, but a mother – one that’s created something no one else could. I’ll have so much more to share and feel hot about. From lying on that hospital bed and having a glimpse of what you brought into the World, to watching your baby take its first step, to it saying its first words and just watch them grow – you know you’re bloody lucky.
I know I’m just eighteen and have a long way to go but the mere thought of it is so delightful.