New Year With A Full Stop

It’s all a blur. Clarity is now a dream, a hazy one. There is an uneasy beat, pounding harder with every passing moment. I try to let go but it only gets louder in my head. There’s fear and anger. I try to fight it but it only gets stronger. Who do I blame for this emptiness within? Myself, I suppose. How much can one bother you unless you allow them to. 

In the middle of nowhere, there are tears. It scares me because I don’t know why. It’s recurring, and when it happens I’m still for a while only to feel a certain sense of calmness. Like it’s a passing.

There are people I want around me and there are people I can’t stand anymore. It eats me up from within. It seems like a malignant being at work, slowly crushing my sanity.

There’s hatred and then there’s love and then there’s hatred again.

I feel so wrong, with every move it only gets worse sometimes. What next then?