Shit happens. And most often, we live it rather than just live with it.
I’ll never be too sure whether it was out of respect or sheer rejection. The thought somehow keeps haunting me nonetheless. You want to get over it but it won’t leave your mind. I try so hard to wipe out a memory but in the bargain reinforce its presence in my mind. It’s stamped now and there’s no wiping it away. While I wish to believe it is the former, the mind naturally drifts towards the latter.
I’ve now reached a point when I seek for no reaction. There is no hope for a positive one for sure, although the least you expect is convenient ignorance and avoidance. The feeling stings deeper.
I wish I were a rather indifferent person, one who could be oblivious to her surroundings. Apparently not!
I don’t mean to be evasive. I don’t mean to let it pass. But I don’t to do otherwise either. Here is just someone who dwells into things she shouldn’t and now it’s only a lesson learnt. There are many things I want now and then I don’t. There are many places I hope to be in and then I don’t. I’m over thinking and then not at all. This must stop.
Now, I’m up for the kicks. I’m ready to live up!