In the midst of my midnight silence I can hear echoes of my unreasonable reasonings.
Why are people so different from each other? Or the more relevant questions is, why are we attracted to someone so different from ourselves? There are days I tell myself that it is because of the challenge it offers. Other days, it’s because they complete what you’re missing. And some days, it’s probably because it makes everything so much more interesting than monotonous. But in time, so much creeps in between this gap, that it feels more of a challenge than a relationship.
Expectations are silent killers. They kill you and then they kill your friends or family or partner, until eventually killing a perfectly normal relationship. But is it really a wrong thing? Is it wrong to want more?
They say it hurts the most when your love is real, when your love is deep. And this someone somewhere is so right about that. You don’t fight because you like fighting or because you cannot get along as two individuals (maybe sometimes), but mostly you fight because you’re afraid. You’re afraid of losing the idea of being in a perfect bubble together doing what you ‘think’ happy couples do or should do. And that right there, is killing me, bit by bit. ‘Em unreasonable reasonings.
Is it unreasonable to want to be imagine a future together (after years of friendship and romance)?
Is it unreasonable to want a few romantic gestures every now and then?
Is it unreasonable to want a phone call every few hours (even for a few minutes)?
Is it unreasonable to want him to be emotionally expressive?Is it unreasonable to want a mushy text every now and then?
Is it unreasonable to want better for the person?
Is it unreasonable to dream?
Is it unreasonable to want to know every bit of them and their lives?
Is it unreasonable to not want secrets?Is it unreasonable to want him to do things you like?
Is it unreasonable to want to do things he enjoys with him?
Is it unreasonable to want time?
Is it unreasonable to want a mature conversation over the regular giggly-mushy-chats?
Is it unreasonable to want stability and security?
Is it unreasonable to want to be the most important thing in his life?
Is is unreasonable to want him?
Apparently, it is. It is unreasonable to want.
Love makes you want more and more every day. But when it stops at what you want, that’s all you really hear. You, you and more of you. There is no us or him.
A lot of times you pretend that everything is alright and you go with the flow. It’s a glass wall that keeps you safe (for now). A glass wall that has created this space and distance between two people already. The kind of space that only grows unless broken before it’s too late.
He loves you, you know it deep within. But why won’t he show it? Why can’t he show it? This too – unreasonable reasonings.