Empty Feelings

The sun is filling up the room
And I can hear you dreaming
Do you feel the way I do right now?

Engaged in empty pillow talk for the eight night in a row, she wept her way to some sleep while he was busy with his friends until he lay in his bed unaware about the mess she’d become. Constant nightmares woke her up at 4.57am with a start and she grabbed her phone, thinking she may have missed his calls. But her screen was blank. She stared hard into her phone, hoping for a message – she stared so hard as if these wanting messages would magically appear, but they never did. Staring at the ceiling, melting in her own cold sweat, tears kept rolling down her face until she could see no more. Until… she dazed into another series of tiresome dreams. He promised he’d be there by her side, but he wasn’t. She looked forward to these three days like they made up for the year to her. She painted her walls red, she let her down, she picked his favourite colour to wear that night, she even wrote him a song. And while everything seemed perfect, the one thing that mattered most was missing. He didn’t make it.

She fell in love with a good soul but he wasn’t willing to commit. He loved her no doubt, but was he really in love with her? The question still lies unanswered. For if he were so madly in love, why wouldn’t he choose her over his other commitments? He let her be, he left her wondering. He left her to herself to dig the dark hole she should never have opened. And she did, with all her might. He wrecked her without knowing. He wrecked her to bits; pieces that she couldn’t put together. He pushed her into a dark corner, surrounded by disappointment. Not once, not twice – he let her go over and over until she could feel no more.

Love is an evil little thing. A crazy little feeling that crushes you if you care too much. And most often, it’s more than what you bargain for. Relationships, they start out easy but they always end up being so hard. Silence in these situations is simply your worst nightmare. Silence kills; silence empowers. It depends what side you’re on. And you your despair, you’re usually at the dying end.It’s easy to tell someone you love them. What matters though, is the lengths you’re willing to go to express it. Simple words make up for promises, and you may make those with ease. But are you willing to keep those promises? Rather, can you?The skies have dulled, another empty night hangs above her. She hides under her sheet, trying to run away from her fears. But the truth is, they live within her. They cast a shadow that will follow her till she finds her light. The skies have dulled and he’s fast asleep. Oblivious to her tears and hopes, oblivious to their relationship falling apart.

This right here is the power of empty feelings…