where are you now?

it started two months ago
our relationship began to crumble
I kept shelving the discomfort
but now I see it unravel

you’re tearing me to pieces
you’re driving me insane
you tell me you love me
but give me darkness instead

you want her heart
but crave my body
you say I make your heart race
but won’t come out and call me

I thought we shared our souls
maybe it was just me
all those hours of laughter and tears
was that just heat?

it’s been a year and you’ve said nothing
you tell me you can’t choose
you don’t know how
though I see you drifting loose

you say it’s all in my head
you say I got here on my own
I’m wrapped up in a dark fantasy
chasing pavements and your heart of stone

so here we are
torn apart
hiding in the shadows of our guilt
holding on to our past

is this guilt
was it a mistake?
this lust turned to love
how do I make it go away?

where is this love you professed?
where is the castle your promised to build?
were we ever okay to begin with?
will you hold me, still?

it’s not your fault
it’s not mine either
it’s just this heart
that’s grown weaker

I wish I made you happy
I wish you could choose me
maybe in another lifetime
our forever could be

truth is, I loved you then
I love you now
and if you ever come knocking
I will love you again, every minute of every hour