Sunsets & sangrias

❝ Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too

The only thing constant in life is change. People who once promised to always walk with you might choose different paths. People you thought you loved, might not have your heart. Sometimes what seemed like a lasting promise, silently screams into oblivion. Sometimes love fades into an abyss. Sometimes goodbyes are an exordium to something new.

A boy I once bore my heart to told me that he loved me but saw himself with someone else. That baffled me and cut me in places that hurt most. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance — getting over love — the struggle is very real. Why does hearing no leave you with an aching heart and mind? Why does the lump in your chest make you feel so hollow?

There are certain things in life we have no control over — our instincts and the heart of another person. There will be times when your heart says you need to pursue someone because you can feel it in your bones. There will be times the other person will want nothing more than distance from you. There will be times you have no reason or answers for the way you feel. Even though this goes against everything you feel and believe in, do not let it consume you. Either someone loves you, or they do not. Either they choose to fight for you, or they do not. Either they feel like fire, or make your insides feel like ice. They cannot be your island with only bridges to burn. There will be days where it feels like the pieces don’t fit anymore. That is the thing with love — either it feels all kinds of right, or it doesn’t sit right at all. In truth, you may not be able to control the heart of a person you love, but you can hold back your own. You can control the way you choose to heal, the way you choose to move forward. Unclench your fists and nerves, and hold yourself. You cannot save yourself from heartbreak but you can hold sway over how you survive it.

Acceptance did not come easy but in time, the lump in my chest disappeared. In time, I felt whole again. In time, this is what I learned — thrive in all of the noise and chaos you feel inside you. Just as sunsets turn to dark, moonshine turns to gold. Just as love changes, you change with it too. Accept the purpose of the past in your life and deny it access to your future. Let your love for yourself be the light that guides you home.

Sometimes, while everything changes, all we need is a beautiful sunset and a bowl of sangria.