Two years ago, I had this message on a dating app from a boy with a very cute lamb in his photos and a rather funny yet honest bio. Had to swipe right, right? His message read something like, “It’s early days, and either of us could be crazy but it’s got a good feeling to it for a change.”
Two days later, a text popped in again and it never stopped. I took a chance and went with my gut. Weeks of texting, a few dates and lots of calls later, I fell fast and I fell hard. Two years later, we’ve just signed our notice of intended marriage. We took a chance, allowed our walls to crumble and let each other in – now, forever. Good feeling indeed!
I found someone who lights the way with kindness, gives me butterflies with his smile and has a voice that feels like home.
When Matt and I first met, I was moving into a new house with my best friend and we were starting a new semester. I wasn’t looking to date but simply spent evenings on a dating app, trying to find validation after having my heart broken not long before. And we all know what that’s like – less honesty, more inappropriate pictures. But somewhere in the midst of swipes and rejections, came along this boy with his bright smile that reached his eyes, a cuddly sheep and a bag of dad jokes. You can’t judge a book by its cover and you can’t judge a person by their dating app bio but his texts and profile felt honest, warm, funny and just…human. I wasn’t looking for love, I wasn’t ready for a relationship or those were things I said out loud. When are we ever ready? Life is so unpredictable, how do you pick a right time? 2020 is a great case in point. Between the bushfires, coronavirus, just everyday life, when is the right time for finding your precious moments?
Love is…curious, unexpected and effortless.
Matt and I come from two different worlds but have the same heart and intentions and values. To anyone else, we were probably a disaster waiting to happen. But to us, we are a perfect match. We ticked boxes we didn’t know we had, and aligned values that are important to us. We work on our relationship and we continue to work on ourselves.
Relationships are hard work, and you both share the responsibility in making it feel as precious and effortless even when it gets ugly. And that commitment varies – you can go from a 50-50 to an 80-20 to a 40-60 very quickly but you make it work. You must want to make it work. I mean, it is a partnership, heart and soul, all the way.
We’re really just looking for that someone to come home to. That someone to curl into on good and bad days. For a voice of reason and challenge. For some of us, it’s our parents, friends, even pets. For some, we look beyond for that companionship. And so, when the opportunity presents itself, don’t list everything that could go wrong. Go in with a clean slate and see what could go right.
Give love a chance, give life a chance, give you a chance. You could surprise yourself, I know I did!
P.S. I’m not looking forward to planning our wedding but I am bloody excited for our marriage, for our life together, for the highs and lows, for the comfort and compromise, for the bonfire to my beating heart. The next few months are going to be fun and the years beyond, bliss.
Dear future husband,
You’re my favourite movie to watch, my favourite hands to hold, my favourite song on Spotify, my favourite birthdate to remember, my favourite flavour to taste and my favourite corner of home. You’re that piece of the puzzle I didn’t know was missing and what a beautiful picture this is. I am especially grateful for the closed doors and detours from our past, those blocked paths that brought us to each other.
I love that you are rare and that you are mine. I can’t wait to be married to you.
Yours, always and in all ways,