Why aren’t we allowed to fail at things we work hard for? Why aren’t we allowed to acknowledge we made a wrong decision? Why aren’t we allowed to give ourselves time? Why aren’t we allowed to be someone who is still figuring out their path?
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There will always be people telling you they know better. There will always be people finding shame in your struggles and achievements. There will also always be you who matters most. There will always be voices of self doubt. There will always be cheers for self love. On good and bad days, there will always be love for you, from your family, friends and strangers alike.
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We are not running out of time. Our journeys will pan out as they must eventually anyway. So it is okay not knowing every once in a while. It’s okay to keep putting your building blocks together, bit by bit. It’s okay to feel confused. It’s okay to feel frustrated. It’s okay to feel everything all at once.
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Look back to your past on a Monday, look upon tomorrow on a Tuesday, reach ahead for your future on a Wednesday, but slow down on a Thursday, be still on a Friday, and be thankful for the present on the weekend.
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To be in an existential crisis can feel very daunting and confronting. Recently, I found myself questioning the hope for tomorrow. What if we never reach the future? What if our future and everything it entails is the present and that is all that will ever exist? My boyfriend often talks about the life he envisions for our 80s. It’s adorable to think that someone would do everything they could today to promise you a beautiful tomorrow. What about our terrible twenties and terrific thirties and frightful forties or the fantastic fifties?
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Moving has been an experience of self-learning and discovery, with its own challenges. For the most part, it goes by in a blur. You make checklists and strike off to-dos. You’re so busy and focused on downsizing, you forget you’re also expanding. You’re expanding your life, again.
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I can’t remember the last time it was as easy to feel at home with someone you hadn’t ever met before. In between Pancake Parlour, the Coldplay concert and the 229 patio, I found two of my best friends. It’s one of the best stories to share as far as serendipitous friendships go – from attending concerts as strangers to living together as soul-friends.
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With a week to turning twenty-five, as always, the elation is trailed by contemplation. As I turn a year older (and hopefully wiser), here are some of my quarter-life lessons.
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It is easy to allow your insecurities to shine brighter than your spirit. It is easy to let your fears determine your character. But when you look back into your mirror of comparison and I mean really look…you will always see you. Some days with your jar of butterflies and some days, with your jar of strengths. Be bold and be willing, and don’t let fear rob you of your inner heroes.
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Our decisions might fight back and life could knock us off course but together, we’re here to breathe, meeting our future as it becomes our present.
From being a force of energy that holds the power to consume me, you are more importantly my centre of gravity. You complete me. Let’s find that joy, maybe?
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Once Upon a Chai 